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Various reasons for late marriages

Ubqari Magazine - December 2013

When a young man falls into such bad habits, it becomes very difficult for him to get out of all this. This also leads to reasons for not getting married.  He then starts visiting quacks and loses health instead of getting better. Same is the case with girls.

When it is often asked that why don’t you get married; the answers are different. Some people say that their family doesn’t allow them to get married until they can afford it; a similar answer is that he can afford to get married but having a house, car and bank balance are also essential. Some say that they have not yet come across any girl/boy whom they think is a perfect match. For many girls the problem is dowry or beauty and for the boys it is due to questions like what is the source of living and how much do they earn. Various other questions like this are the reasons for late marriages. Furthermore, marriage which is a very simple and easy custom has been made difficult by practicing of undue rituals. Instead of happiness it becomes sorrow, which leaves a person under huge amount of debt. Since we started spending extravagantly on marriage, it has become complicated and a failure for us. It is a different topic that can also be discussed but the issue which I am going to talk about now, I will try not to use inappropriate words, please forgive if I do so.

A child is taken great care of when he comes to this world and gradually as he grows up, becomes the center of attention of his elders. But when he begins to gain changes and reaches the age of adolescence, he is not given proper guidance and awareness about sexual information. He resorts to discussing this topic with his age fellows, resulting in understanding things incorrectly. The child would not discuss this topic with his parents due to shyness and the parents assume that he would understand himself. How is it possible? He did not know how to eat or to speak and you taught him all this. So he looks forward for support in this case as well. The main reason behind this is lack of proper guidance and care about this issue.

The era today is the time of temptation and violence. Immodesty (unveiling) is common, girls and boys develop friendships with each other which lead to love and what not… The impact of cable, mobile and internet is affecting every home. Everybody would agree that if someone is hungry and the food is right in front of him, it’s not possible for him to refrain from eating. So you can well imagine how critical it is to take care of your child. Once a child fall victim to such bad habits, he either keeps suffering within himself or continues finding means to fulfil his desires. Just as we are hungry or thirsty, we take food or drink water. Likewise when it comes to sexual relationship, Allah has made a beautiful relationship of husband and wife. But if that’s not possible, one starts looking for wrong means to fulfill the needs. Won’t you agree that how easy adultery has become rather than getting married?

When a young man falls into such bad habits, it becomes very difficult for him to get out of all this. This also leads to reasons for not getting married.  He then starts visiting quacks and loses health instead of getting better. Same is the case with girls. With some precaution we can be saved to a great extent. The first thing which I want to share with you is from Hazrat Hakim Saahib’s book “Aadab-e-Maarfat”.

The key of Blessing and Truthfulness:

In the present time, even the practice of guarding your sight only, can raise you to the highest level; at par with those who are friends with Allah. Dear friends it is a very profitable deal to get closer to Allah. With his blessings, the sweetness of Imaan in your heart will help you to follow Islam completely. Carry out this practice and all the ways to the path of Allah’s love will open and problems will resolve.

The second thing which I heard in the Dars of 26th Ramadan is also a very powerful and easy practice. It is to keep away from sins only due to the fear of Allah and referring of this act for acceptance of your prayers. It is a very authentic practice. As evil has spread everywhere, so keep yourself away from sins and deposit your virtues in Allah’s trust. 

Whenever you get into a trouble or hardships, give reference to Allah in your prayer for avoiding that evil by praying, “O Allah! I had complete power to commit such sins but I kept away from them. Now help me to get rid of this trouble”.

Third thing is that we should adopt simplicity in our food. Ever since we started making spicy foods just for the sake of taste, numerous diseases have started to attack us. The fourth important thing is that we must recite the Duua prior going to the toilet as we get 90% of the diseases from toilets. Such places are swarmed by evil beings. Devils roam around everywhere and due to our distance from religion, we are under their control. May Allah bless us with strength to follow the right path.

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