Professor Syed Muhammad Saleem]

The minds of the children progress very fast, that is why they ask all types of questions. It is a responsibility of the parents to answer all sorts of questions of the children in a cool minded fashion. They should not become angry or annoyed and neither should they scold them.

Children as Life of the House: Hazrat Muhammad (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) has resembled little children with the flowers of the heaven. Just like everyone becomes happy by seeing flowers, similarly by seeing little children everyone becomes glad. Parents have immense love with their children, and upon seeing the parents, the children become very happy too. Children are a source of peace and happiness for their children. When the tired father comes home in the evening after work, and the small child embraces his legs, and he picks him up and enwraps him around his chest, at that time all of his anxieties and worries go away. A wave of happiness and cheerfulness passes through his whole being. And gladly his dry face cheers up.

Children Are a Test: According to the teachings of Islam, offspring is not only a source of calmness and happiness, rather in reality they are a keep towards them from Allah Almighty. Just like affluence and wealth and thousands of blessings are lent by Allah, similarly offspring is also lent by Allah. Allah Almighty likes to test the parents by giving them offspring. If someone spends wealth and money on useless activities, he earns notoriety in this world as well as he becomes unsuccessful in the afterlife too. He deserves the torments of the hell. By giving offspring it is sought to test the parents. That whether parents educate them well. Whether they adorn them with the ornaments of good conduct, behavior and manners or not. Whether they earn a good name in this world through their offspring or carelessly ruin their personalities? And leave infamy for themselves behind. Whether they educate their children, teach them good manners, make them civilized and inculcate polite behaviors to them and increase the number of pious, righteous and well-wishing people in the society or increase the number of characterless, terrorists in the society.

A child opens his eyes in the lap of its parents. In the beginning all the needs of the child are associated with his/her mother. Life is given by Allah Almighty, but mother nourishes and grooms the child. The matter is not only that the mother cleans his/her bodily dirt and filth, feeds him milk, the child drinks milk from the breasts of the mother and obtains the warmth of love, the mother gives her milk to nourish the child. She pours the emotions of love and sacrifice along with this milk into the child. Like this his mental and moral nurturing takes place. The most illiterate of mother is much better than the most highly educated nurses. The mother keeps on talking to her dumbfounded child for hours like a child. She makes voices for him/her. After listening to them the ears of the child become familiar with them. Then he also starts copying them and starts talking himself.

Taking Influence From the Environment: Instead of the conscious and verbal education of the parents and members of the family, the child gets more influenced by their silent advice. He/she gets influenced to a large degree by the circumstances and the situations of the house and its members. A few psychologists have taken notice of the effects of the environment on the character of the child. The summary of their researches is that the atmosphere of the house can be of various types.

1) If the child lives in the environment of love and sympathy, he/she learns love and sympathy. 2) If the child lives in the atmosphere of praise, he/she tries to become praiseworthy. 3) If the child lives in an atmosphere of encouragement, he/she learns self-confidence. 4) If the child lives in an atmosphere of safety, he/she learns to trust others. 5) If a child lives in a polite atmosphere, he/she learns patience and tolerance. 6) If a child lives in an atmosphere of undue praise, he/she learns to become conceited and arrogant. 7) If every desire of a child is fulfilled, he/she becomes stubborn. 8) If a child lives in solitude, he/she remains oblivious of brotherhood and friendship. 9) If the things of a house are hidden from a child, he/she can become a kleptomaniac. 10) If a child is inhibited too much, the child becomes coward and scared. 11) If a child lives in a belligerent environment, the child learns to quarrel and fight. 12) If a child lives in an embarrassing atmosphere, he/she becomes too much shy. 13) If a child is grown up within an environment where parents are often fighting, his/her psychological and moral upbringing remains flawed. 14) If a child is grown up as an orphan, he/she either develops self-confidence by working hard, or becomes a malingerer by considering himself helpless.

Education and Grooming of Children: It is an obligation of the mother to keep the children neat and clean. When they are very small, she should clean them up herself. She should not act clumsily and sluggishly in this regard. And when they grow up, then to inculcate a regard for cleanliness and purity, and to order them to remain neat and clean all the time is her duty. As soon as they wake up in the morning, they should recite kalimah Tayyaba. Then they should clean, wash their face and hands. To develop a regard to keep their clothes clean specially, fajar prayers, and to recite a chapter of the holy Quran and say Salam to the elders and meet them. They should develop a habit of cleaning their teeth. Physical cleanliness paves the way for mental purity. They should be taught manners and attitudes. Manners to eat food, to develop a habit of clean and correct language, to speak in a civilized and in a polite manner should be emphasized.

The minds of the children progress very fast, that is why they ask all types of questions. It is a responsibility of the parents to answer all sorts of questions of the children in a cool minded fashion. They should not become angry or annoyed and neither should they scold them. Till the time parents are not polite and tolerant, they cannot educate the children properly. The mother should specially try to understand the inner mental state of the child. Moreover, the mother should try to understand the temperament of every child. The children of a single family can be quite different from each other regarding their temperaments. That is why to treat them all with the same mechanism is not correct. After understanding the temperaments of the children the parents can groom the children in a better way.