I am working in a multinational company for past seven years. I’m married and by the grace of Allah I’m blessed with two children. I’m the only earning hand in the family. My father passed away two years ago. Before marriage, my life was peaceful and I was free of all tensions. I used to give a large amount of my earning to my mother. Neither I ever bothered about grocery, nor did I know the rates. At that time, I earned eight thousand rupees and used to give six thousand to my mother. Now my salary is twenty two thousand rupees but I find it difficult to meet the both ends. I have to manage the expenses because my mother is paralyzed and she cannot go to buy grocery. Now I realize how blissful my mother’s involvement was. Hazrat Sahib! I want to share the deepest sorrow of my life with you. I have always been an intelligent person and I achieved success in every task that I did heartily. Though I knew the difference between right and wrong bur I committed many sins like theft, gambling, using abusive language, lying, and abandoning prayers and obligatory fasts, backbiting, depriving others from their rights and misbehaving.
Hazrat ji! My elder son is four years old. Neither he can talk nor walk. According to the doctors, he suffered meningitis fever when he was born. Due to which his brain was affected and he cannot live his life like normal children. But I don’t accept this because I believe that even rocks can speak if Allah wills. In my view, meningitis is just an excuse the actual reason behind his disability is something else.
Hazrat Sahib! When my son was about to be born, a boy cursed me badly. Today, in whatever condition my child is, it is all because of the curses of that boy. A new manager was appointed in the office. He checked my record and promoted me as a supervisor in appreciation of my hard work and I forgot my limits. There was a new boy called “Z”, I did his leg pulling and gave him tough time.
The only thing he used to say was, “Sir! Don’t force people to curse you rather make them pray for you, my heart curses you when you tease me without any reason”. Now I regret that if I had not annoyed him, my beloved son would be living a normal life like other children.
The poor guy was neither that clever nor so intelligent. I used to taunt him by calling him brainless and mad. The only thing he used to say was, “Sir! Don’t force people to curse you rather make them pray for you, my heart curses you when you tease me without any reason”. Now I regret that if I had not annoyed him, my beloved son would be living a normal life like other children. Although, previously I used to think that only saints’ curses are answered. I even used to say this to him that you are not a saint that whatever you say would happen. Hazrat Sahib! I was wrong, either it be saint or a common person, both are Allah’s creatures. Allah is the Bountiful and He listens to all. Hazrat Sahib! I have been crying for my son and have spent a lot of money on his treatment. Whoever told me about someone, I took my son to that doctor no matter how far away that place was. Now I pray to Allah that my son may not become dependent on anyone after my death. I will look after my son as long as I’m alive but I don’t know what happens to him when I will not be there. Hazrat Sahib! My bad days started right after “Z” left his job. Everyone’s behavior in the office was changed, using abusive language and making fun of each other became a routine and we used to call it pleasure. My office colleagues started calling me “Dog”, all of them used to call me dog and abused me. This is how the things were going on. I used to think that what was happening with me. I was facing the same behavior at my home. Quarrels with wife became a daily routine. My mother was also angry with me. If I tried to make my mother happy, my wife would become angry. Due to this continuous depression and anxiety I became a psycho patient. I used make promises with Allah that I will offer prayers regularly if He would get me out of my troubles. But I always forgot to fulfill my promise whenever He solved my problem. And then I was caught in another trouble. I was under heavy debts. Sometimes I thought of committing suicide but I rejected the idea considering my children. Every day there was a new challenge for me, putting me in another trouble. I used to cry and think that why it was happening with me.
Then I got a chance of visiting Tasbeeh Khana through an acquaintance. I attended your lecture and became your disciple. My heart was filled with peace. When I came home, I had severe headache and nausea so I slept early. The next day when I got up I felt like a new life had started. Hazrat Sahib! I offer five times prayer and do zikr. I don’t abuse and behave badly with anyone. My anger has vanished by drinking three sips of water after ablution. Rather I don’t feel anger at all. Everyone respects me in my office and ma sha Allah I’m keeping beard. I stay away from unlawful earning. Neither I annoy anyone nor do I feel annoyed. My life has become a heaven with the blessings of Tasbeeh Khana. May Allah bestow you and your companions with great reward and bless the Tasbeeh Khana with long lasting prosperity, Amen.
